the end of november.

Åhléns Blazer (very similar), ASOS Crop Top & AA Jeans
Here's the rest of the outfit, have a nice weekend! I myself am stuck in a snowstorm and won't probably drive to Sundsvall before tomorrow morning  - dangerous roads you know, already there's been a truck explosion on the road. Take care!

dancing the whole way home.

 So I settled for these instead of the other ones. But I'm already thinking about returning them for countless reasons, one of them is because it started snowing - move me to a warmer climate please? I don't know how other girls do this, go and party in the winter, but they do and I'm clueless and rather play it safe. So yeah, wish I had a pair of Lita's right now to solve my problem. But I do recommend these.

skin update.

I'm thinking of making a deal with you guys. It's about my skin, it's become worse and I don't think I can handle it anymore. So far I've only tested Neutrogena and Clinique (review here) and while neither of them has made my skin worse they haven't really been doing the job of getting rid of my acne. I've told you the truth before, that I do retouch my pictures, I take away all the blemishes. But not for you, I do it for me, hoping for some kind of placebo effect to appear. The weird part is that I'm not at all embarrassed by my acne as I was a couple of years ago when it was in this state. I do show myself without make up some days, and when I try to cover them up it's only for me to feel a bit "fresh". I believe it has something to do with me not going to school or work. I don't meet people the same way I used to. And I'm so used to it now that it's kind of become a part of me, there's not much I can do about it. I don't either think people see me as disgusting or ugly because of my disorder. I'm kind of living in my own bubble and perhaps that's why I'm not bothered. But my mom is, and that hurts. She can say it looks awful and that I should do something about it - like I'm not trying?! The only problem I actually have with my spots is that they hurt and sometimes itch. Though I would lie if I say that I never thought about a face transplantation, I do envy those with smooth and even skin and who's never had it that bad that it left scarring on their face. 'Cause even if I cure this, I'm doomed to get some kind of reminder of this period.
I'm right now testing the REN's kit for blemish prone skin, which I will review when I've used up all products. But I'm already looking at other solutions, and I think I have found something that could help, and it will be my last resort. If it doesn't work, I will have to find a dermatologist somewhere close, 'cause my current one is sick and I can't count on her coming back and I can't heal this by myself.
So here's the deal: if this last thing works I will post a before and after shot, where you'll see me without make up and how bad my face really is right now. But only if it gets better - and maybe I'll throw in a little give away! I will announce what product I'm counting on as my last chance in the coming week. And if you who reads my blog also has acne, I would love to hear your story and what products you use!

the clutch.

Lindex Clutch
As I said before, I'm kind of underdeveloped when it comes to shoes and bags, which are the two most vital things when it comes to making an outfit successful (in my opinion). I only have one bag that I use, it's a brown little leather purse that my mom found in the garbage at her work which she took and gave it to me - here shall no leather bags be thrown! It's small and not so fashion-y to say the least, but it's magical and fits everything I need. But I wouldn't want to use it when going out. So when hunting for a clutch I was first looking for something sparkly and small, though in the end I settled for safe. There's nothing special about this clutch; it doesn't stand out in a crowd; wouldn't say it has the it-factor either that will make an outfit. But I actually like it very much, it's subtle, classy, can transform into a purse, and has the perfect size. It's a good starter for someone who hasn't got that fancy-dinner-clutch like me.


If you love Batiste dry shampoo like me and wanna save some money I recommend buying it at ASOS. You see, they sell 400ml for the same price as a 200ml costs in store. What I do not recommend buying is their XXL Volume, I've finally come to an end on this can and will never repurchase it. The smell is awful and strong which makes you cough and hold you breathe when spraying it. It also makes your hair feel even more dirty than it was. So no, I rather rely on dust-it to do the volume-job.

heart of glass.

(clickable pictures)
Last week the MMM for H&M went public and in it's collection they offered a pair of leather shoes with a see-through-heel. I kind fell in love with them instantly! But then I saw that Jeffrey Campbell has made a pair of new ones with that same heel, and even put in on some classics like the Lita. I would love to have a pair of Soiree's in my closet (first and last shoe from the left), they are just so... futuristic and I like! I'm hoping with it being soon 2013 that we'll stop going back in our fashion, 'cause come on, we should be dressing like modern astronauts in this time of age! But instead it feels like the 80's were one step ahead of us.

stand still kitty.

Trying to make pictures for tomorrows Friday, I'm in Love, but the lightning sucks today and I often have to depend on sunny days which has been rare this week. So I'll treat you with this picture of where Phoebe one second later succeeded with escaping my grip. And now it's time to go for lunch where they'll be serving chicken wook with red curry and noodles - yummy!

shoe problem.

Lindex Pumps
So yesterday I went and bought the pumps in my last collage. I tried them quickly at the store but felt like I had to take them home for a more proper fitting. Unfortunately they don't make it in a size higher than 40, and even if I can squeeze my feet into them it is painful to walk. So I'm returning them today with a sad face. I really like them and I know that China Girl makes exactly the same, but even they don't make them in size 41, and if my intuition's right I won't be able to walk in them either... so my search for a pair of pumps goes on.

say yes to...

Last week my eye cream ran to an end and I wanted to try something new. I've got a list of products I want to try and the Yes To line is one of them. I was actually just going to buy the facial wipes but then I saw this value kit and with my eye cream ending I just thought this would be a great way of hitting two flies at once and trying out the line. So far I really like these wipes better than the Blueberry one, I liked the feel but didn't like the smell. These on the other hand are very cooling (I have them in my fridge for extra cooling effect) and I really like the pleasant smell. The eye gel I am also very happy with, it's 98% natural product and you get 30ml for less money than the ones I usually buy (you get 15ml for ~ 300SEK). This means I can share it with Peter without feeling like it will run out too fast for the money I spent. The only thing I have a problem with is the moisturizer, it has a very strong scent, which I can't stand, so I gave it to Peter who at the moment is without a daily facial moisturizer (he uses body lotion on his face). Disregarding the perfume it's a really nice cream which makes your complexion smooth and calm. All in all I like the packaging, price, the witty copywriting and can't wait to try out the Yes To Tomatoes range, also the Yes to Carrots for Peter that's for dry skin which he battles with during winter time.
Discover more @YesTo

xmas party wishlist.

1. Åhléns shirt 2. Zara heels 3. H&M sweater 4. H&M skirt 5. H&M high-waisted jeans 6. Lindex clutch 7. Åhléns skirt 8. H&M clutch
9. Lindex pumps 10. OPI Skyfall Collection - The World Is Not Enough
Peter got invited through work to a Christmas evening with a three course meal and entertainment, which we said yes to. As it can be nice as a couple to come out a little bit I always forget how easy it is to say yes to stuff and the moment after you realize the most common girly question: what the f will I wear? I want to say that I have the basics, but if I had them I wouldn't be bothered. The problem I frequently have is shoes actually, and maybe a purse/clutch. I don't own those things when it comes to dressing up for a fancy dinner or something in that way. I have this idea of how to dress fancy, but my way doesn't necessarily apply to the Swedish climate or weather. I would love to hoop in a red sparkly dress with strappy sandals, but with age comes reality, and I've seen myself more and more become shy when it comes to dressing. Oh yes, I do mind what others will think, ' cause I'd rather they not think at all. I admire the people who can dress up in the most simplistic of outfits and somehow they managed to be seen. So I'm always trying to compose something like that, but in my opinion I fail kind of often, just because I don't have the "it"-accessory that completes the outfit. So I'm on the look-out for some fancy (but comfortable) shoes and a sparkly clutch that will make my jeans and shirt something more than an everyday outfit.

you say the nastiest shit in bed and it's fuckin' awesome.

(frk. shirt (old), Gina Tricot top and AA Jeans)
I should really throw this shirt away, I fell in love with it about two years ago on a summer sale, but after a few washes it lost its thing. But for today it will do. And about the headline, well I kind of discovered that Donald Glover (he who plays Troy in Community) has an alter ego. Listen to the song here.
Now it's time to frighten Phoebe some more, let's see how good she'll handle a car ride...
Have a nice weekend!


bareMinerals SPF 15 Matte Foundation
 Because my skin has gotten worse I can't keep using my Nars Tinted Moisturizer that gives a very sheer coverage. And after reading some tips on what foundation will suit my skin type I got hooked on mineral foundation yet again. I've tried Clinique Anti-Blemish Liquid Make-up, which I was very pleased with, but It's a bit expencive, don't have SPF and I'm not that into liquid foundations. I've also tried Laura Mercier Mineral Powder before, which I laso liked, but yet again, it's a bit pricey, hard to get, and I can't seem to find a color to match my skin tone. I really recommend the above if you got troubled skin like me but I really wanted to try something new.
Haha I'm complaining that both Clinique and Laura Mercier are too pricey, when in fact bareMinerals foundation is even more expensive than the two of them, especially the one I wanted, the Matte which costs about 495 SEK if you get it in store. I don't get why the Matte costs more than the original, when considering you get less product for the money (Original you get 8g, Matte 6g). But I really needed the matte, for the original has glitter in it, and if you've got acne and oily skin, the glitter just exaggerates it.
So far I'm very happy with my purchase, it doesn't conceal my spots, but that's maybe where I need to invest in a better concealer.
***First of all, I don't get paid by Beautybay to say this, I just want to give you a tip on a new beauty online store, which offers free worldwide delivery, and very cheap make up! If one pot bareMinerals Original costs 449SEK in store, you can get one for 210SEK or two for 399SEK at Beautybay - that's TWO for LESS than ONE here in Sweden! And they have Urban Decay! Right now I've got other stuff on my list, but on my Christmas list there's a Naked Palette. If you want me to list more online stores on where to get the cheapest skin care and make up, just write in the comments below!

anti-blemish solution. #1

My first step towards a flawless complextion.
As you might know I struggle with acne, and my skin is just as sensitive to weather as my body. And even though I'm going through a treatment (for the second time), and it's not as bad as it was two years ago... or even ten, I'm eager to know which products out there does the best work. My dermalogist told me that I should use what ever products that helps me restrain my awful pores from exploding, 'cause face it I do not have teenage acne, I have adult, so it won't just magically dissapear when I grow up.
Bought @ Åhlens for 180SEK
First try-out is the Clinique Blemish Solutions.
I've been testing for three months now which is the recommended testing time for products to see if they are working or not. I was skeptic of Clinique from the beginning - even though I do like and have known about their products before hand, but this was my first time testing the 3-step skin care set. And because it had a toner with alcohol in it I kind of knew this wouldn't save my skin without maybe fucking up it a little bit.
Step 1 Cleanse - Facial Soap: Though I liked the idea of cleansing with a soap bar which will probably last me a whole year, I didn't like the soap in the beginning, nor did I grew to like it. I hate the way soap makes the skin feel, a bit too clean and dry. Maybe also too harsh. I still use it though, and after I clean with another cleanser that makes my skin feel more soft and hydrated.
Step 2 Exfoliate - Clarifying Lotion: I kind of dreaded this step, but I gave it a shot. Also It was the first thing to come to an end. I don't like toners, there's studies that shows that they are unnecessary and if they have alcohol they will only dry out your skin - which will only give more pimples and so on. Dry out my skin it did. And with that it dried out my pimples which burst without me squeezing them, and left dark spots to heal forever.
Step 3 Moisturize - Clearing Moisturizer Oil-Free: This one I developed some kind of hate/love relationship. I do like it, but I kind of don't. It controls my oily skin, but at the same time I felt that it didn't make my skin soft and kind of made my pimples more red instead of soothing them. But I'm still on the lookout for a better daily moisturizer.
The Conclusion:
About two weeks of trying this one out I think my skin started to purging, then it got better, but at the end I think my skin kind of got immune or something, 'cause suddenly it couldn't control my breakouts especially around PMS, which it did before. And my main concern is to prevent future breakouts so the ones I have can heal. I was thinking about trying out Dermalogica's Acne Kit, but reading the ingredients and so, it's no different to Clinique's harsh way of handling acne. I don't believe in drying spots out, it's actually one of the worst things you can do to your skin. What I'm after is a product that will balance and calm my skin and be there to prevent pimples to emerge to the surface. I will probably never be blemish-free, but if I had only three pimples to deal with every month I would be so happy and satisfied.
Next: REN >>>

far pond.

Bates Masi Architects

surf spray.

Bumble & Bumble Surf Spray
Maybe a bit late or maybe not, however I've finally gotten my hands on this over hyped product that supposed to give you that perfect a-day-at-the-beach-hair. I've tried various others and I must say, there's something different with this one and I think I'm holding on to it.
Background: Whilst my mom's friend was visiting shortly from the US I asked her to buy the Surf Spray for it's about 175kr cheaper than in the Swedish stores.


Hello there, I'm back from Stockholm and with me I have my little kitty Phoebe. She hasn't yet adjusted to our little one-room-apartment, but I'm hoping she'll come around soon...

those who wait.

Gud uppfinn nåt nytt
Som gör det lätt att hålla ut
Nåt för dom som väntar
Dom som orkar vänta
mandi ulloa 
Ok, så jag skäms. Skäms att jag aldrig hört denna låten förut. Skamsen att det är inte mina skrivna ord.
För kom igen, den texten skulle lätt ha kommit ur Min mun, från Mina tankar.
Den beskriver så väl det jag gjort i snart tre år: Väntat. Väntat. Och väntat. På nånting nytt.
Jag sagt det förut, mitt liv känns som den har stannat upp. Inga fler dörrar att gå igenom, bara fyra väggar och ett fönster; ett fönster att kolla ut genom och se på andra leva sitt liv.
Och jag väntar och väntar, försöker medan jag väntar, att hitta en väg ut.
Mina drömmar dom blir mindre och mindre. Mina ambitioner slocknar som lågor.
Jag vill ha något bevis på att jag ska fortsätta längta, fortsätta vänta. Förr så uppenbarade dom sig vart jag en kolla. Vad hände med livets pilar?
Kan det vara mitt fel? Kan det verkligen vara så? Vad är det jag har missat? Vart ska jag leta?
Min enda tröst är förändring.
Varje dag intalar jag mig att allt är inte för evigt.
Men hur lång är en evighet? Fem år?
I såna fall får jag se till att hålla ut två år till.
Är det normalt att livet står still för nån så ung?

grey days.

Weekday sweater, Topshop top (similar) & American Apparel Jeans
I've forgotten to show you this sweater. I spotted it early in spring and luckly my wish came true, 'cause later it was found on summer sale. Even though now I didn't need a sweater I stored in the closet for it to make it's premiere this fall and winter.
I'm sorry for the lack of updates. The weather and the season has gotten me depressed. Also, the dizziness (that I've talked about before) hasn't really vanished I've been to the doctor and they couldn't help me 'cause they couldn't find any thing internal wrong with me or something. On the up-side it has gotten a lot better, it's almost disappeared, but I guess two months of dizziness and unexplainable stuff gets to you. Right now I'm looking forward to going back to normal and forget all about these past few months, at least the bad stuff.